hmm...haven't blog much. let's start with thursday...
so thurday...can't really remember what happened...somhow most the the stuff that happened on that day seem to be a blur to me. i guess i wasn't paying attention in class...or sth...i remember maths class...we were doing ln...i'm so dead...i dun get loads of it..need to practice it then...go ame...tiao~ that was kinda random. so then..english i kerna called to stand up..answer question...describe a best friend u have in school...seriously i dunno how to answer that...do i really have a best friend? if i did...then she muz have flown away like the summer bird..cos i can't find her...it's like there's no one really i can lean on, everytime i think i have someone...i'm left all by myself again. alone. so there was nothing interesting that happened...not really...lemme think...i fell asleep during physics...so screwed up. arghs....can't i pay attention? no. i juz gotta sleep. well i neeeeeeedddddd to be more attentive. yea. so then after skool..wanted to go and run to practise for my 2.4but din. why? cos no time and too lazy. went for mass...paul and chrisy were late and aunty was later....wondered what he did. so then, sam and yowie came. yupps. sam sat with us...damn crampped, so chrisy and i pushed paul...closer to aunty...hahahaha...he din mind...ooo..haha. but i think that aunty is quite brave...he dare to sit alone with so many girls with him. unlike someone....*coughs*
after mass...or after com, we went for church visitation...felt so left out lars...liek i'm so extra like that...no one cares so...yupps. ho cube din come cos he juz din want to come...so lame. so then i sit alone....and think..i think i fried my brains. if my friends can't always be there for me...then why do they say that they'll always be there for me?? so i sat alone...and thought...then ben sat with me but i din say anything, at first i was studying...but then not enuff light so i juz din bother...did stations of the cross...i led for one of them...go ame..saw the old bus uncle..u know the one that drove the schoolbus when i was in primary skool....so funny...he remember me...i think i hardly change sia...i think i change more inside than outside...get what i mean?? so we went to visit the churchs...then i couldn't take it anymore...i sms ho cube...told him my situation and how i was feeling...ok lars...comforted me a bit...thanks man...
but still....after a while i think he went to sleep liao...so nevermind...cos it was ending liao...juz a long bus ride with solitude...so listened to my mp3...willy was seeing what song i had lars...hehe...so i nearly fall asleep.. din bother hearing what gill had to say...juz...like somehow...not be bothered with things anymore...arghs...dun wanna talk about it..it's complicated...
kinda disappointed that there were no stars that night...sitting outside the church in vain...hmm...but the moon was nice, except for the clouds...gave it a damn creepy look...so went back to the church, damn late liao..tried calling my parents...but no one answer...called home, no one answered...guess i'm the forgotten child... :(
damn sad lars...no one wanna go and fetch me from church...had to take the bus with chrisy...fell asleep on the bus... hehe...listening to songs...i put the volume louder...shutting out the world...went home. got a damn bloddy scolding from my mum...cos i came home so late...i said i called but she refused to listen..she juz kept rambling on and on..so i juz din care, went to "my room" and changed, went on the comp for a while, and slept.
friday:
well it's good friday. dunno why it's so good. firstly, i din get a place to sit in church, it was so freaking crowded. i think i know why. cos all the ppl that never came throughtout the year come only on two days, good friday and christmas...arghs, i hate christmas! it's such a lonely holiday, like i have to spent the whole day at home...NO ONE wants to go out...i hate christmas...stupid holiday...joy to the world my ass. look at the world now! do u really think that there is peace? joy? no. how many family break up every year? how many children run away from home, b'cos their parents fight...how many think that home is not their home, how mnay teens that cry themselves to sleep, think they're the cause of everything?? u tell me...there is no joy...christmas is juz a sad stupid holiday...juz think about it...all ppl want on christmas is presents presents and present, all for themselves...they want to reiceive...not give, no one wants to give, ppl are damn selfish. yea. back to good friday...so couldn't find sam...nvm.
stood with paul, then yowie and her friend came. the mass damn long...wanted to sit but couldn't. i hate those shoes i wore. i'll tell u why later...so yow went to toilet..ask me to go with her...haha..she ate pineapple. i think u know the rest. after mass....went downstairs...somehow...sarah and all had places to sit lor. saw kenneth...said hi. his hair grew back...not fully but u get what i mean. then paul and i left. went to suntec. to buy prez for ppl...damn long lars...my shoe give me blisters...so i should have wore converse.. x))) anyways...went to suntec, first bought chrisy prezm then went to royal sporting house, got et a gift, then went to somewhere...got aaron his gift... sorry...but i'm not really close to him...i dunno what to talk about with him lars...i think he prefers talking to paul or chrisy than me...this reminds me..i forgot to talk to nick...hopefully he won't forget me...there's always vf...for a guy...he shops a lot and i really mean A LOT...he buy a damn ex belt lars...100+ euro...i think he's loaded...haha dun tell him that. not that u know who he is. i tell him who i like too...well not the recent ones...haha...but he knows about penguin...haha..he even suggested how i could be closer to him...damn nice lars.
back to suntec...went to eat swensen's...arghs...gotta stop pigging or i'll put on weight...which is a no no...geez...guys should really stop looking like stick...*feeds them lard* muahahahaha...juz kidding...so ate already...shop shop then came home. it rain while i was shopping...haha...so yea was walking on the overhead pass..saw marcus...obviously paul saw him first...so he had to put his hand in front of me then i could see him...haha..a bit the blur i know. :P went home afterwards...paul tried to guess my ahem...but i wun tell her...some ppl know why lars...not telling.. went home...ers...ate? such a pig...maybe i went to sleep...even worse. then i think hocube call me...haha...talk damn long...about what? about crap...juz like SOMEONE...hee..so talk to him...nice to talk to him. so then ask that forever friends bear thingy. he says it depends on i dunno what for him to buy for me. please dun misunderstand. it's juz buying for me cos i'm a good friend. yea. hopefully he'll buy...dunno what i'm gonna do with it if he does lars..and then we talk about some party..hahahhaha.... e + m = together forever... insider joke between him and me....hahahaha....
well...afterwards talk to sam t and eugene again...on msn. sam is my mummy and eugene is my daddy...it's juz fake one...they're my fake mummy and daddy...so i pester daddy...then daddy left...haha...
talked to sam about AHEM....she told me some stuff...not saying what. overall...maybe ahem is not that great lars...but i still like him...for now that is....dunno how long it'll last...but penguin is better no doubt. except for that x factor he has...not saying too.
arghs...felt so betrayed lars during the joint convo...someone kept adding ppl i din really want to talk to cos the three of us were talking about private stuff....u know...so yea. and someone blurted out something of one......argh...wanted to die there on the spot.
why is it that each time i find someone whom i think i can trust...that person would let me down time and time again. it sux really. it's like there's no one really there for me...i feel like the best person to keep my secrets is none other than myself. juz let me suffer silently can???!!! i dun wanna open up to ppl anymore. i dun want to let ppl know how i feel. i dun want to show my emotions anymore. i may do so until i forget how to laugh...i dunno...it's really complicated. but i can do it. here we go. tmr i will not laugh at all. try my very best. a neutral face and neutral responses....i feel so exposed whenever i open up...it's like there's nothing to protect me anymore...ppl know stuff and it's juz not safe. hmm...i dunno what to do man. argh...the pain and anguish.....it's eating into my soul. ahhhhhhh *screams*
so let's move on shall we? on saturday. went for my 2.4 run. no practice watsoever...so i went there...listen to mp3 for prepare mentally....yes ppl i do that. i like songs that drive ppl...esp on emotions like anger...then u can really run...my concentration kept breaking but never mind...recorded for eunice...wondered where my purple pen went though.....i'll ask her on monday...so then i ran. the first rounds was ok...the 6th round was the problem...had abdorminal pain..very painful...i was so determined to pass so i din slow down. halfway round...it's got to far....wanted to cry...really i wanted to...great...now i feel weak...nvm...so i ran...100m away i was suppose to sprint...but had no energy...did the best i could. time:14.23. that's good. an A on the dot. that is if i din hear wrongly...so afterwards....went home. bathe. went for a good lunch. went home. slept. argh. i'm such a pig. oink. oink. din go to give candles cos too tired and overslept.
did some studying...couldn't really concentrate....talked to shannon for a while...he won't reply certain stuff...dunno why. from ok msg to like...a few letters. so i stopped talking. and went to sleep. hocube forgot to respond to me...guess he was having a great time alone with his godsis...hahahahaha....and then...sunday.
today. easter. there is no joy in easter. it's like christmas...juz a little better than christmas. so went for mass with sam lee...came late cos the freaking bus was damn late....i hate 88 lars...so i went late...turn in..couldn't find her...i think i was kinda blur...tried calling...still couldn't...then bahh forget it and follow her instruction and went in....then i saw her....arghs...i hate being blur...have to be sharper...no have a sharp tongue though...so it was quite ok lars the mass....had chocolate...free from the church...so after mass went to collect confi photo...but ester not there so forget it. saw hocube on my way out...talk for a while....he look quite nice...nice shirt...dressed a bit the classy....haha...look quite er...nice? u get what i mean lars.....then i remember why he dressed like that...he got that lunch thingy for easter...haha. went home...went to j8...then came home..had that mac milkshake...damn good. and here i am blogging about this silly stuff....
Name
Age
School
bday
[[ The Wishlist ]]
New wand!
Lockart's new spell book
Murder the potions master
New broom
Get into the school's qudditch team
[[ Don't talk crap, it's fucking rude ]]
hmm...haven't blog much. let's start with thursday...
so thurday...can't really remember what happened...somhow most the the stuff that happened on that day seem to be a blur to me. i guess i wasn't paying attention in class...or sth...i remember maths class...we were doing ln...i'm so dead...i dun get loads of it..need to practice it then...go ame...tiao~ that was kinda random. so then..english i kerna called to stand up..answer question...describe a best friend u have in school...seriously i dunno how to answer that...do i really have a best friend? if i did...then she muz have flown away like the summer bird..cos i can't find her...it's like there's no one really i can lean on, everytime i think i have someone...i'm left all by myself again. alone. so there was nothing interesting that happened...not really...lemme think...i fell asleep during physics...so screwed up. arghs....can't i pay attention? no. i juz gotta sleep. well i neeeeeeedddddd to be more attentive. yea. so then after skool..wanted to go and run to practise for my 2.4but din. why? cos no time and too lazy. went for mass...paul and chrisy were late and aunty was later....wondered what he did. so then, sam and yowie came. yupps. sam sat with us...damn crampped, so chrisy and i pushed paul...closer to aunty...hahahaha...he din mind...ooo..haha. but i think that aunty is quite brave...he dare to sit alone with so many girls with him. unlike someone....*coughs*
after mass...or after com, we went for church visitation...felt so left out lars...liek i'm so extra like that...no one cares so...yupps. ho cube din come cos he juz din want to come...so lame. so then i sit alone....and think..i think i fried my brains. if my friends can't always be there for me...then why do they say that they'll always be there for me?? so i sat alone...and thought...then ben sat with me but i din say anything, at first i was studying...but then not enuff light so i juz din bother...did stations of the cross...i led for one of them...go ame..saw the old bus uncle..u know the one that drove the schoolbus when i was in primary skool....so funny...he remember me...i think i hardly change sia...i think i change more inside than outside...get what i mean?? so we went to visit the churchs...then i couldn't take it anymore...i sms ho cube...told him my situation and how i was feeling...ok lars...comforted me a bit...thanks man...
but still....after a while i think he went to sleep liao...so nevermind...cos it was ending liao...juz a long bus ride with solitude...so listened to my mp3...willy was seeing what song i had lars...hehe...so i nearly fall asleep.. din bother hearing what gill had to say...juz...like somehow...not be bothered with things anymore...arghs...dun wanna talk about it..it's complicated...
kinda disappointed that there were no stars that night...sitting outside the church in vain...hmm...but the moon was nice, except for the clouds...gave it a damn creepy look...so went back to the church, damn late liao..tried calling my parents...but no one answer...called home, no one answered...guess i'm the forgotten child... :(
damn sad lars...no one wanna go and fetch me from church...had to take the bus with chrisy...fell asleep on the bus... hehe...listening to songs...i put the volume louder...shutting out the world...went home. got a damn bloddy scolding from my mum...cos i came home so late...i said i called but she refused to listen..she juz kept rambling on and on..so i juz din care, went to "my room" and changed, went on the comp for a while, and slept.
friday:
well it's good friday. dunno why it's so good. firstly, i din get a place to sit in church, it was so freaking crowded. i think i know why. cos all the ppl that never came throughtout the year come only on two days, good friday and christmas...arghs, i hate christmas! it's such a lonely holiday, like i have to spent the whole day at home...NO ONE wants to go out...i hate christmas...stupid holiday...joy to the world my ass. look at the world now! do u really think that there is peace? joy? no. how many family break up every year? how many children run away from home, b'cos their parents fight...how many think that home is not their home, how mnay teens that cry themselves to sleep, think they're the cause of everything?? u tell me...there is no joy...christmas is juz a sad stupid holiday...juz think about it...all ppl want on christmas is presents presents and present, all for themselves...they want to reiceive...not give, no one wants to give, ppl are damn selfish. yea. back to good friday...so couldn't find sam...nvm.
stood with paul, then yowie and her friend came. the mass damn long...wanted to sit but couldn't. i hate those shoes i wore. i'll tell u why later...so yow went to toilet..ask me to go with her...haha..she ate pineapple. i think u know the rest. after mass....went downstairs...somehow...sarah and all had places to sit lor. saw kenneth...said hi. his hair grew back...not fully but u get what i mean. then paul and i left. went to suntec. to buy prez for ppl...damn long lars...my shoe give me blisters...so i should have wore converse.. x))) anyways...went to suntec, first bought chrisy prezm then went to royal sporting house, got et a gift, then went to somewhere...got aaron his gift... sorry...but i'm not really close to him...i dunno what to talk about with him lars...i think he prefers talking to paul or chrisy than me...this reminds me..i forgot to talk to nick...hopefully he won't forget me...there's always vf...for a guy...he shops a lot and i really mean A LOT...he buy a damn ex belt lars...100+ euro...i think he's loaded...haha dun tell him that. not that u know who he is. i tell him who i like too...well not the recent ones...haha...but he knows about penguin...haha..he even suggested how i could be closer to him...damn nice lars.
back to suntec...went to eat swensen's...arghs...gotta stop pigging or i'll put on weight...which is a no no...geez...guys should really stop looking like stick...*feeds them lard* muahahahaha...juz kidding...so ate already...shop shop then came home. it rain while i was shopping...haha...so yea was walking on the overhead pass..saw marcus...obviously paul saw him first...so he had to put his hand in front of me then i could see him...haha..a bit the blur i know. :P went home afterwards...paul tried to guess my ahem...but i wun tell her...some ppl know why lars...not telling.. went home...ers...ate? such a pig...maybe i went to sleep...even worse. then i think hocube call me...haha...talk damn long...about what? about crap...juz like SOMEONE...hee..so talk to him...nice to talk to him. so then ask that forever friends bear thingy. he says it depends on i dunno what for him to buy for me. please dun misunderstand. it's juz buying for me cos i'm a good friend. yea. hopefully he'll buy...dunno what i'm gonna do with it if he does lars..and then we talk about some party..hahahhaha.... e + m = together forever... insider joke between him and me....hahahaha....
well...afterwards talk to sam t and eugene again...on msn. sam is my mummy and eugene is my daddy...it's juz fake one...they're my fake mummy and daddy...so i pester daddy...then daddy left...haha...
talked to sam about AHEM....she told me some stuff...not saying what. overall...maybe ahem is not that great lars...but i still like him...for now that is....dunno how long it'll last...but penguin is better no doubt. except for that x factor he has...not saying too.
arghs...felt so betrayed lars during the joint convo...someone kept adding ppl i din really want to talk to cos the three of us were talking about private stuff....u know...so yea. and someone blurted out something of one......argh...wanted to die there on the spot.
why is it that each time i find someone whom i think i can trust...that person would let me down time and time again. it sux really. it's like there's no one really there for me...i feel like the best person to keep my secrets is none other than myself. juz let me suffer silently can???!!! i dun wanna open up to ppl anymore. i dun want to let ppl know how i feel. i dun want to show my emotions anymore. i may do so until i forget how to laugh...i dunno...it's really complicated. but i can do it. here we go. tmr i will not laugh at all. try my very best. a neutral face and neutral responses....i feel so exposed whenever i open up...it's like there's nothing to protect me anymore...ppl know stuff and it's juz not safe. hmm...i dunno what to do man. argh...the pain and anguish.....it's eating into my soul. ahhhhhhh *screams*
so let's move on shall we? on saturday. went for my 2.4 run. no practice watsoever...so i went there...listen to mp3 for prepare mentally....yes ppl i do that. i like songs that drive ppl...esp on emotions like anger...then u can really run...my concentration kept breaking but never mind...recorded for eunice...wondered where my purple pen went though.....i'll ask her on monday...so then i ran. the first rounds was ok...the 6th round was the problem...had abdorminal pain..very painful...i was so determined to pass so i din slow down. halfway round...it's got to far....wanted to cry...really i wanted to...great...now i feel weak...nvm...so i ran...100m away i was suppose to sprint...but had no energy...did the best i could. time:14.23. that's good. an A on the dot. that is if i din hear wrongly...so afterwards....went home. bathe. went for a good lunch. went home. slept. argh. i'm such a pig. oink. oink. din go to give candles cos too tired and overslept.
did some studying...couldn't really concentrate....talked to shannon for a while...he won't reply certain stuff...dunno why. from ok msg to like...a few letters. so i stopped talking. and went to sleep. hocube forgot to respond to me...guess he was having a great time alone with his godsis...hahahahaha....and then...sunday.
today. easter. there is no joy in easter. it's like christmas...juz a little better than christmas. so went for mass with sam lee...came late cos the freaking bus was damn late....i hate 88 lars...so i went late...turn in..couldn't find her...i think i was kinda blur...tried calling...still couldn't...then bahh forget it and follow her instruction and went in....then i saw her....arghs...i hate being blur...have to be sharper...no have a sharp tongue though...so it was quite ok lars the mass....had chocolate...free from the church...so after mass went to collect confi photo...but ester not there so forget it. saw hocube on my way out...talk for a while....he look quite nice...nice shirt...dressed a bit the classy....haha...look quite er...nice? u get what i mean lars.....then i remember why he dressed like that...he got that lunch thingy for easter...haha. went home...went to j8...then came home..had that mac milkshake...damn good. and here i am blogging about this silly stuff....