was going through some of my old stuff today. haha...found loads of books...mostly with songs in it. then i my old diary..it had little bears all over it...hee...haven't written in it for years...it's frangrance is gone already. and in another book...i found a song i wrote. yeap. I rote it...it's called almost there...sad song sia..but i think mag's sliver stain is better. it's nice u know. and that little has grown up and face reality, she is not what she used to be. happiness and joy were torn away right from the grasp of her hands. and now she sit alone in the corner thinking of why this happened to her. yea.
it's kinda weird. as a kid we are always happy..or that's what ppl think. not me though... cos i wasn't...it's a funny story i dun intend to tell. let's juz say that girls can be quite vicious even when they are juz p2. yea. but p1 sorta sucked. u know why? cos i missed my best friend....who was a guy...i'm quite sure that he still lives in bishan...but i haven't talked to him for ages already. he was my very best friend...haha...got into mischief with him...we both got scolded for the same thing and we got lost together. yea....the last time i had a glance of him...he's changed. a lot. i think my grandma still has his home number...maybe i'll call him one day...after the o levels..i hope he's doing well...*sighs* i really wonder what would have happen if we still kept in contact...there's always time to catch up..i really really hope that my ah mah still have his number sia. i dun like losing friends...well unless they are the damn useless type then i dun mind. but others...no way. i'm trying to patch up with phoebe...cos we were once best friends...hopefully i can do it..starts with msn...then talking in skool. and then going out and not forgeting going to her home...on the 8th floor...coincidence much. and seeing her doG!!! milo... hahaha...that was so funny...the last time i went...i think that milo was kinda horny...wahahahaha
speaking of friends....i'm gonna talk to tammy all the time after my exams!!!!!!!! she's my twin!!!!!!! hahaha...ya we have the same b'day but she's in aus. still...she's my twin. ok...not my biological twin but who cares?! and we're both be 16 this year!!! i wonder if she knows any cute aussie guys...then she can intro me and i can intro her cute s'pore guys...yea.
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
mortal dilemma!!!! there's penguin and there's nash....which one do i like better?? arghs...i'm so frustrated. should not be thinking of them...making my results go down. a good friend told me the reason why my results were deproving...i wanted to tell hor...but he's not free...seems to like that recently...i dunno why. so the other guy talked to me...i think he's not as irritating as ppl think he is...he is quite nice..really.
why is this happenening to me? why is everything i treasure so much....leaving me? WHY?! what have i done to deserve this??!! everyone is leaving me one by one...and i juz dunno what to do anymore...i really dun. i try to hold on to them...but they are all slipping from my grip. i can't pay attention...i'm thikning about stuff bothering my life. my stupid life..i should have never been born to this earth.i feel so GOD forsaken. my God my God....why have u forsaken me?? why have u left me all alone?? where were u when i needed u the most??? when i asked for help...none came...everything is my fault..i'm juz the cause of everything. there are two ways i can go. on my left it's life...on the right is death. i mean...if i die...no one would notice. i ask u now...would u care? no..u won't...how come everyone can feel loved but me? why am i so different??why am i like this?? why can't i juz be normal??!! God...u r almighty..then why can't u take my life away?? i am so willing to sacrifice it for anyone...cos i dun want it. living hurts. it really does. when u wake up everyday...and u ask urself...why am i here? i feel so unappreiciated...so forgotten, so ignored...so excluded. no one wants me...let me fade into oblivion. ppl love to exclude me...they love to keep me from knowing things. they're all the same...they want me to fail. they want to to die... they are all heartless freaks. i wish i could be strong and face these hurdles that come my way...but i'm not...i'm really not...everyday...i pretend i'm happy...do u know how sickening it is to do that?? i hate to be happy...i hate to be not me...but i have no choice. i go to skool...i fall...no one helps me.. they all juz stare and talk among themselves. they dun care. no one cares. u know what i really wish?? i wished that the doctors found a tumour in my head. then i would die. i hope i have one now...a huge big one, and they can't operate. then i can die! u ppl want to know why i keep seeing the doctor rite?? well i'll tell u...it's b'cos they want to prevent me from getting one...i wished that they din. i juz wish i had cancer...cancer of the blood. no more beef and spinach. then i'll have not enough iron for the production of red blood cells, my white blood cells overwhelm them..i get blood cancer and die.......life over. i dun like to open myself b'cos i've been hurt so much. each time i find aomeone i can trust...that person turns against me...i cry...yes i do. juz that no one sees it. i'm beginning to not trust ppl...to not be close to anyone. i dun want to be hurt again. it's too painful. like someone said...love is like a razor, it cuts ur heart deep with every moment. i hate this world. i juz wanna be free from it all.
dear God,
i know u have the power to do anything. i pray to u today to take my life away. let me return to u..let me not feel as forsaken as i do now. u are fair to everyone...so let me die. u said ask and u shall recieve. well now i'm asking u for it...for relief of my life, i'm begging and pleading u. please...dun let me go on suffering. i know u know how i feel.please...remove the pain i feel. i dunno what to do anymore. and i seek u...let me go with u to heaven...please God. let me be happy to be with u in heaven.
amen and thank you.
Name
Age
School
bday
[[ The Wishlist ]]
New wand!
Lockart's new spell book
Murder the potions master
New broom
Get into the school's qudditch team
[[ Don't talk crap, it's fucking rude ]]
was going through some of my old stuff today. haha...found loads of books...mostly with songs in it. then i my old diary..it had little bears all over it...hee...haven't written in it for years...it's frangrance is gone already. and in another book...i found a song i wrote. yeap. I rote it...it's called almost there...sad song sia..but i think mag's sliver stain is better. it's nice u know. and that little has grown up and face reality, she is not what she used to be. happiness and joy were torn away right from the grasp of her hands. and now she sit alone in the corner thinking of why this happened to her. yea.
it's kinda weird. as a kid we are always happy..or that's what ppl think. not me though... cos i wasn't...it's a funny story i dun intend to tell. let's juz say that girls can be quite vicious even when they are juz p2. yea. but p1 sorta sucked. u know why? cos i missed my best friend....who was a guy...i'm quite sure that he still lives in bishan...but i haven't talked to him for ages already. he was my very best friend...haha...got into mischief with him...we both got scolded for the same thing and we got lost together. yea....the last time i had a glance of him...he's changed. a lot. i think my grandma still has his home number...maybe i'll call him one day...after the o levels..i hope he's doing well...*sighs* i really wonder what would have happen if we still kept in contact...there's always time to catch up..i really really hope that my ah mah still have his number sia. i dun like losing friends...well unless they are the damn useless type then i dun mind. but others...no way. i'm trying to patch up with phoebe...cos we were once best friends...hopefully i can do it..starts with msn...then talking in skool. and then going out and not forgeting going to her home...on the 8th floor...coincidence much. and seeing her doG!!! milo... hahaha...that was so funny...the last time i went...i think that milo was kinda horny...wahahahaha
speaking of friends....i'm gonna talk to tammy all the time after my exams!!!!!!!! she's my twin!!!!!!! hahaha...ya we have the same b'day but she's in aus. still...she's my twin. ok...not my biological twin but who cares?! and we're both be 16 this year!!! i wonder if she knows any cute aussie guys...then she can intro me and i can intro her cute s'pore guys...yea.
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
mortal dilemma!!!! there's penguin and there's nash....which one do i like better?? arghs...i'm so frustrated. should not be thinking of them...making my results go down. a good friend told me the reason why my results were deproving...i wanted to tell hor...but he's not free...seems to like that recently...i dunno why. so the other guy talked to me...i think he's not as irritating as ppl think he is...he is quite nice..really.
why is this happenening to me? why is everything i treasure so much....leaving me? WHY?! what have i done to deserve this??!! everyone is leaving me one by one...and i juz dunno what to do anymore...i really dun. i try to hold on to them...but they are all slipping from my grip. i can't pay attention...i'm thikning about stuff bothering my life. my stupid life..i should have never been born to this earth.i feel so GOD forsaken. my God my God....why have u forsaken me?? why have u left me all alone?? where were u when i needed u the most??? when i asked for help...none came...everything is my fault..i'm juz the cause of everything. there are two ways i can go. on my left it's life...on the right is death. i mean...if i die...no one would notice. i ask u now...would u care? no..u won't...how come everyone can feel loved but me? why am i so different??why am i like this?? why can't i juz be normal??!! God...u r almighty..then why can't u take my life away?? i am so willing to sacrifice it for anyone...cos i dun want it. living hurts. it really does. when u wake up everyday...and u ask urself...why am i here? i feel so unappreiciated...so forgotten, so ignored...so excluded. no one wants me...let me fade into oblivion. ppl love to exclude me...they love to keep me from knowing things. they're all the same...they want me to fail. they want to to die... they are all heartless freaks. i wish i could be strong and face these hurdles that come my way...but i'm not...i'm really not...everyday...i pretend i'm happy...do u know how sickening it is to do that?? i hate to be happy...i hate to be not me...but i have no choice. i go to skool...i fall...no one helps me.. they all juz stare and talk among themselves. they dun care. no one cares. u know what i really wish?? i wished that the doctors found a tumour in my head. then i would die. i hope i have one now...a huge big one, and they can't operate. then i can die! u ppl want to know why i keep seeing the doctor rite?? well i'll tell u...it's b'cos they want to prevent me from getting one...i wished that they din. i juz wish i had cancer...cancer of the blood. no more beef and spinach. then i'll have not enough iron for the production of red blood cells, my white blood cells overwhelm them..i get blood cancer and die.......life over. i dun like to open myself b'cos i've been hurt so much. each time i find aomeone i can trust...that person turns against me...i cry...yes i do. juz that no one sees it. i'm beginning to not trust ppl...to not be close to anyone. i dun want to be hurt again. it's too painful. like someone said...love is like a razor, it cuts ur heart deep with every moment. i hate this world. i juz wanna be free from it all.
dear God,
i know u have the power to do anything. i pray to u today to take my life away. let me return to u..let me not feel as forsaken as i do now. u are fair to everyone...so let me die. u said ask and u shall recieve. well now i'm asking u for it...for relief of my life, i'm begging and pleading u. please...dun let me go on suffering. i know u know how i feel.please...remove the pain i feel. i dunno what to do anymore. and i seek u...let me go with u to heaven...please God. let me be happy to be with u in heaven.
amen and thank you.