Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it.
They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I love.
so my friend did me a favour, found out that they've fallen out. although i felt relieved to hear it... but i guess i'm not happy about it, neither am i sad. why? i'm not happy cos i'm not a sadistic person, at least he knows a bit of how it was like to be in my shoes. still, i'm not sad for him, cause i dun see the point. he isn't much to me anymore. just no one. he's already removed me from his life, so what's the point feeling sad for him? moral of the story? dun cheat on ur girl. it has like.. bad karma for u. hmm.. how sam feels about this.. well.. i dun think i would say. haha. but i'm hoping that josh would be online cos i wanna talk to josh. haha... i dunno why.. josh is just kinda nice to talk to.. can talk to him about anything i guess.. but i still like talking to guppy better.. my friend of.. *counts* 3 years. haha. i haven't talked to starfish for a long time. i wonder how she is. her prez is still with me.. and i really wanna give it to her. she's just such a nice person.
i know this is kinda early but i wanna make gingerbread cookies for christmas. but i think i need another packet. so that's like 30 gingerbread cookies. yummy right? and i'll give some sweets too. i gotta remember.. ryan's bday is coming up.. ^.^ my childhood friend. haha. he's gonna be 18.. like me.. he's older than me. and he's crazy and random like me.. but we can't go la.. it's just really wrong.so i talked to him about getting an ipod today.. haha.. i like the square ipod bcos it's kinda cute. and i hope there's an ipod that comes in orange.. cos i think orange is a really nice colour for an ipod.. i think dark metallic blue might look nice too.. i guess i just like kinda odd colours. but i dun mind the pink one, just that sam has the exact same on. still i dun think that i need 8gb.. i think about 5 should fit everything... i have... hmm.. 700+ songs, but i dun even listen to all of them. i dun even listen to some of them, just have them.
hey gupps, do u still remember penguin? haha. i remember man.. those days... and then my toy penguin, given by josh. it's so cute. haha. sadly, i dun like penguin as more than a friend. mind u, penguin and josh are two completely different people in every way. yesterday, i was emoing.. loner asked why.. and i just said i'm an emo kid. and he asked what emo meant to me. so i told him.. well emo is emo.. there's no way u can define it. it's just like taking a sudden plunge in emotions and thinking about stuff that u shouldn't, how things would have been like if something somthing something.. u know.. haha.. i think i feel kinda bad for being kinda anti-social towards him cos he's still really nice to me.. but i really needed my space and i needed to shut him out too. then i saw him. my eyecandy. and i became even sadder cos i knew that he saw me. and then he just pretend that he din even see me.
i was so hurt.. sighs.. i really like him.. i hope that he doesn't think loner and i are together.. i think i'll be driven insane by loner if he were to be my bf.. and i know that i have better taste than that.. he's just not the guy for me.. our differences only allows us to be friends and nothing more.. i wanna be with eyecandy.. sighs.. then i was emoing until i nearly cried over this. sighs. i think i've sighed a lot. but that's really how i feel.. kinda depressed. as a result i couldn't really concenntrate during my maths lesson.. i was thinking about him.. and feeling sad. then today i saw again. i was about to say hi then he suddenly looked down. and i guess i felt kinda sad... maybe he's backing off or something... wa lao.. this time i'm in really deep soup.. loner's not to blamed i guess.. but at least he was around so i could did next to him.. someone that i know... sighs.. my eyecandy.. dun give up.. T.T
Name
Age
School
bday
[[ The Wishlist ]]
New wand!
Lockart's new spell book
Murder the potions master
New broom
Get into the school's qudditch team
[[ Don't talk crap, it's fucking rude ]]
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it.
They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I love.
so my friend did me a favour, found out that they've fallen out. although i felt relieved to hear it... but i guess i'm not happy about it, neither am i sad. why? i'm not happy cos i'm not a sadistic person, at least he knows a bit of how it was like to be in my shoes. still, i'm not sad for him, cause i dun see the point. he isn't much to me anymore. just no one. he's already removed me from his life, so what's the point feeling sad for him? moral of the story? dun cheat on ur girl. it has like.. bad karma for u. hmm.. how sam feels about this.. well.. i dun think i would say. haha. but i'm hoping that josh would be online cos i wanna talk to josh. haha... i dunno why.. josh is just kinda nice to talk to.. can talk to him about anything i guess.. but i still like talking to guppy better.. my friend of.. *counts* 3 years. haha. i haven't talked to starfish for a long time. i wonder how she is. her prez is still with me.. and i really wanna give it to her. she's just such a nice person.
i know this is kinda early but i wanna make gingerbread cookies for christmas. but i think i need another packet. so that's like 30 gingerbread cookies. yummy right? and i'll give some sweets too. i gotta remember.. ryan's bday is coming up.. ^.^ my childhood friend. haha. he's gonna be 18.. like me.. he's older than me. and he's crazy and random like me.. but we can't go la.. it's just really wrong.so i talked to him about getting an ipod today.. haha.. i like the square ipod bcos it's kinda cute. and i hope there's an ipod that comes in orange.. cos i think orange is a really nice colour for an ipod.. i think dark metallic blue might look nice too.. i guess i just like kinda odd colours. but i dun mind the pink one, just that sam has the exact same on. still i dun think that i need 8gb.. i think about 5 should fit everything... i have... hmm.. 700+ songs, but i dun even listen to all of them. i dun even listen to some of them, just have them.
hey gupps, do u still remember penguin? haha. i remember man.. those days... and then my toy penguin, given by josh. it's so cute. haha. sadly, i dun like penguin as more than a friend. mind u, penguin and josh are two completely different people in every way. yesterday, i was emoing.. loner asked why.. and i just said i'm an emo kid. and he asked what emo meant to me. so i told him.. well emo is emo.. there's no way u can define it. it's just like taking a sudden plunge in emotions and thinking about stuff that u shouldn't, how things would have been like if something somthing something.. u know.. haha.. i think i feel kinda bad for being kinda anti-social towards him cos he's still really nice to me.. but i really needed my space and i needed to shut him out too. then i saw him. my eyecandy. and i became even sadder cos i knew that he saw me. and then he just pretend that he din even see me.
i was so hurt.. sighs.. i really like him.. i hope that he doesn't think loner and i are together.. i think i'll be driven insane by loner if he were to be my bf.. and i know that i have better taste than that.. he's just not the guy for me.. our differences only allows us to be friends and nothing more.. i wanna be with eyecandy.. sighs.. then i was emoing until i nearly cried over this. sighs. i think i've sighed a lot. but that's really how i feel.. kinda depressed. as a result i couldn't really concenntrate during my maths lesson.. i was thinking about him.. and feeling sad. then today i saw again. i was about to say hi then he suddenly looked down. and i guess i felt kinda sad... maybe he's backing off or something... wa lao.. this time i'm in really deep soup.. loner's not to blamed i guess.. but at least he was around so i could did next to him.. someone that i know... sighs.. my eyecandy.. dun give up.. T.T